Strawberry Shortcake...ghetto stylez!

Yesterday I made a strawberry shortcake. I'm not sure where the idea came from but let me tell you folks, it was easy, delicous, and gorgeous...everything you could hope for in a confection.

I've mentioned before that I use box mix as the base for my cupcakes and this time was no different. In defference to my diet and the number of people that were coming over I figured that the standard sized 9" springform pan would be far too large and leftover cake is kind of evil. OK, so it isn't take over the world and enslave the human race evil but I'm sure that if it could it would...it just sits there in your fridge looking as tempting as the day it was made but you know that if you don't eat it right away it will start to get stale which is just depressing. Like the last few un-purchased christmas trees in the no-frills parking lot on December 26, it will be thrown into the trash without knowing it's lifes purpose; bringing joy to innocent children the world over.
Oh, ok, wow, that was a lot of information about evil cake...ah hem... so I made a mini strawberry shortcake. I live super close to the St. Lawrence Market so I look myself for a wander down to the market and lemme tell you, FAR easier to negotiate on a weekday. anyhoo, in almost the direct center of the market on the upper level there is a kitchen supply store with just about any kitchen/baking gadget that you could dream up. I grabbed me a 6" springform and a few icing tips (just cuz I couldn't help myself :D) and stopped at metro for 35% whipping cream(on sale, sweet!) and a basket of yummy yummy ontario strawberries which are officially in season and oh so delish.

Step one: bake the cake. Sounds simple but I always manage to make things a little more difficult than they need to be, le sigh. So I used the Betty Crocker angelfood cake mix, which, I know from experience, rises like crazy. Well I'm making this teeny tiny cake onle so I measured out 1/4 of the box (108g) and mixed with 1/4 of the suggested water (75ml, e.g. 1/3 cup) and voila, had the perfect cake amount. I pammed my springform, poured, baked, and was horribly dissappointed. My cake didn't rise. Infact, it fell. Effin bullsh**!

OK, deep breaths, repeat Step one but this time read instructions on box: "do not grease pan" is written multiple times in bold all over that friggin box! OK, wash pan, remeasure, rebake...AH HA! The cake is perfect! carefully remove from pan, and air out!

Step two: Prep the strawberries. Easy peasy. Wash, thinly slice, coat lightly with sugar, mix. This should sit for a half hour so that the sugar will set with the strawberry juice making a light syrop.

Step three: sugar+cream, then whip. I recently acquired a second, perhaps third-hand handmixer. It's one of those handmixer things that looks kinda like a mechanical toilet brush and vibrates all the way up your arm, but damn it if it isn't a sight easier than whipping cream by hand...that's just crazy talk! So, first time using this thing I pour my cream into a large bowl and start the mixer. OH crap! turn it off, turn it off! After getting covered in cream in less than a second I remember that this thing came with a tall narrow cup thing that you are supposed to use for this sort of thing. Next best thing: coctail shaker. Hey, stop giggling, it worked.

Step four: stack it! Tip your cake onto its side like a wheel and using a serrated knife, gently slice through the cake to make two layers. If you press too hard you will squish the cake, if you saw too fast you will maim it. OK, so, Bottom of cake, half the strawberries spread evenly, a few dollups of whip to cover the strawberries, top of cake, remaining strawberries, a few more dollups of whip.

Voila. You have a gorgeous masterpiece that looks and tastes like you bought it at one of those fancy bakeries.

A few things to remember:Make and serve on the same day for best affect. Don't cover the sides, this way you can see the layers from the side. Do not grease the pan. the whip will not set like icing so don't cover it with cling wrap. You can set one strawberry aside at the beginning and without removing the top cut it into slices down the length, fan out and place on top of the cake. Everyone will think you are a kitchen goddess. Lick fingers, repeat.